Whatcha' Gonna Do? It's Marauder Mary Sue!
by CelestialGlobe
Summary: Presenting the sequel to Little Miss Mary Sue: An Epic Tale of Epic Sueness! A crazy, ZOMG terrible story filled with commentary from your crazy friends Globe and Archer that absolutely CANNOT be summarized in 384 characters!
1. LE INTRO

**Hey guys! Sorry for the long delay- whoa!**

**( dodges flaming pitchfork )**

**Look guys. I am sorry for abandoning you. But I just DON'T LIVE on Fanfiction. I'm actually writing original stories on Wattpad now, so I haven't disappeared from the Internet, 'Kay?**

**Angry reader: Do you KNOW how long we waited?**

**Globe: *checks watch***

**Archer: *looks through calendar***

**Globe: No. But I promise you, I have not forgotten about this. I just hate, hate breaking promises.**

**Logic and Common Sense both appear in green cloaks.**

**Logic: Ugh, you two are back, eh?**

**Common Sense: I believe we have failed to keep these two dundering fools away from this site.**

**Archer: well it wasn't hard. I mean like, it just looks... Depressing sometimes. It's like.. Ugh.**

**Globe: Shut up. Now, you're probably all mad at me for being gone for sooo long. But it's because LIFE GOT IN THE FREAKING WAY. And it got so much in the way that I've changed. Spiritually of course. If you want to know what I mean by spiritually, just find me on Wattpad by the name of LunarScholar if you really wanna know.**

**Archer: *wipes tear with napkin as depressing vocals echo in the background* Globe... Tell them the news.**

**Globe: I cannot. I will not. I shan't not!**

**Archer: JUST TELL THEM FOR GOD'S SAKE!**

**The crowd watches intently as Globe bites her lip, wondering what she should do. ( Logic: Explain, perhaps?)**

**Globe: Yes, this is Whatcha' Gonna Do? It's Marauder Mary Sue. But this might be my final story on here. I'm probably going to pack up and leave.**

**Happy boy: oh good, she's leaving. She kinda took up the space that could actually be used for-oh, I don't know, good writers?**

**Globe: Well that boosts my self esteem. -_-**

**Archer: Why're you leaving?**

**Globe: I didn't say I was leaving, I just said there would be a really good chance. So just in case I do leave, I'm going to make WGDIMMS the best gosh darn educational parody I could make on this account and go out with a bang.**

**Crowd cheers.**

**Globe: Right here and right now, I'm going to give a genuine thank you to everyone who supported Little Miss Mary Sue: An Epic Tale of Epic Sueness. Thanks goes to:**

**Wetstar, Shaphire15, Firefly264, Anon ( oh you silly little troll!), MoonyTheAlchemist, Andy Elladora Black, SmileyD, and RavenclaWriter (best Internet fanfic friend a girl could have). Especially, Heimhermharm for being the very first follower of the story.**

**If I have forgotten anyone, please forgive my ignorance. If I misspelled a username, forgive my forgetfulness. I wrote you all down from MEMORY just to show you the love you've given me and this story.**

**And now, I'm going to repay you for being such an absent-minded fool.**

**Welcome to Whatcha' Gonna Do? It's Marauder Mary Sue!**


	2. Chapter 1

Globe: *hears voices* Archer? Is that you?

Archer: well I know you can't be Globe. Your voice sounds different.

Globe: O_O WHY DOES YOURS SOUND DEEPER. WHY.

LIGHTS TURN ON. The lights reveal an abandoned, dusty lab with high-tech gadgets and a nice lounge for canon characters who were either killed off or saved from being turned into disgusting, scarring versions of themselves.

Archer and Globe soon lock eyes with each other. They both take off their hoods and begin circling each other, observing each other's features.

Globe: You've gotten taller-

Archer: You've got some acne-

Globe: Your hair-

Archer: Your eyes-

Globe: Again, your voice-

Archer: You've got a retainer-

Globe: You've got braces-

They stop. Globe soon notices Archer's cheeks turning a pale pink. "Problem? " Globe asked.

"Have you ever seen your eyes? " he said, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "They don't look- ahem, not pretty."

Globe stared at him as he looked down at the floor, soon beginning to blush. Globe had turned red...

From laughter.

"Archer, that was hilarious! " she laughed. "You know it's impossible to see your own eyes! Ahahaha! "

Archer spins around and went to turning on the colossal monitor while Globe follows him, still snickering. Archer grabs a small microphone from the desk and spoke into it. "Requesting Marauder Mary Sue story."

"Are you sure? " the computer system asked.

"Well doh, " said Globe rolling her eyes. "We're only requesting this to make a commentary on it."

"Did you say a My Immortal co-"

"NO. There's waaaaaaay too many."

Globe shut down the program and brought up a Word document which housed a story filled with grammatical errors, dead parents and gothic goth ness of goth...

So goth.

"What's this? " Archer asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"We're going to be doing a commentary on a little Marauder fanfiction. Ain't chu' excited? "

"No. "

Globe looks to you. "Well on that note, let's begin! Grab your sunglasses and tacos from that shady taco shop and let's go CUH-RAZY with commentary! "

**( I had to turn off autocorrect for this story to go right.)**

A/N: HEEEEY GUISE, dis is may storee so I hope u likes itz lol. Mah friend says dat I am rely gud riter bcuz she red my dtorie on microfart werd, so yah.

i wrote dis bcuz i thout ot wod b a gud ideeya 2 gt mah wryting out dere. sooooooooooooo i hop u like it

REED & REVOWW! plzzzzzzzzzz

**Microfart?**

chappy 1- england 2 me

Hi-

**Didn't we already discuss this? It's so unprofessional to start a story with 'hi'.**

_**Globe, there are lots of successful stories that start with the word 'hi'.**_

**I'm ignoring you.**

My name is Selene Neon Tsuki Naruto Suzukiteriyakivolvo of the Green Moon Tribe._**Don't you dare bring Naruto into this.**_

I'm a werewolf/witch. I am fifteen and I weigh 10 pounds. I look thin enuff 2 b anorexic but I'm not. **Are you seriously saying that looking anorexic is a good thing? Do you know how stupid that sentence was? * picks up mallet * Do you know what I'm going to do with this?**

_**Um, Globe don't get violent with that. It was just a-**_

**What're you talking about? I'm just using it to tenderize chicken. We gotta feed the guests once the canon characters start getting destroyed.**

_**That was- huh?**_

I have long locks of blonde hair, like golden honey. My eyes are blue like the freshwater river that flows against the light of the 3rd moon of December in the fifth millenium. But I am very ugly so don't get the wrong idea u pervs.

**I don't like this.**

ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYway, I have gorgeous, flawless skin that's flawless. _**Say it with me now! RE-DUN-DANT.**_

Anyway, 2day I got a letter from Hogwarts, a school in Europe ( A/N: idk were da skool iz so if u no pllllllllllllllllzzzzzzzzzzz tell me! ) **No.**

and de said dey 4got to send me da letter 2 go.

**That's basically my excuse for why I didn't get into Hogwarts. They forgot to give me my letter.**

**Idiots.**

So they sends it- _**You gotta be kidding me! Really? All these years, they finally done 'sends' it. Well, gosh darn. Betty Joe! Light a fiery one. We're havin' a sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet hoedown!**__- _and I got my letter. They said

okay so-

**She didn't know what they said. That's like those awkward pauses where you're explaining something to your parents or whatever and leave out the bad parts.**

_**Like, OMG, I'm like, totally enjoying this, like lol. like This story is soooooooooooooo kawaii.**_

**You ain't no fangirl, boy!**

I went on the train. All the people kept staring at me because I was so beautiful. I was SO mad my eyes changed into a fiery red. I kicked a couple of dogs out of a compartment and sat in it. Like a boss.

**No, like a son of a-**

_**Language.**_

**Rich person! Archer, you should know by now that I don't curse. Good God, these people. And rich people ( arrogant ones ) kick people out of compartments, or anything else for that matter.**

I sighed and began 2 cut myself. **Self harm? Oh come on guys. People who cut just make me wonder why. Why aren't you doing anything else than cutting. No matter what happens, DO NOT CUT...YOURSELF!**

Den, someone came in. It was...DRAKO!

I wondered who he was. "WHO R U? " I asked.

**Everything. I mean like, everything was wrong with that. You just said- ugh, never mind. Just never mind! You know what, NO.**

**THIS IS A FREAKING MARAUDER STORY. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?**

**THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NO CHARACTERS FROM THE PRESENT ( excluding a few ) IN HERE THAT ARE YOUNG IN THE PRESENT.**

**GET. SOME. LOGIC.**

He looked at me with teardrops. His cold, 50 degree temp eyes stared deep into mine. **Draco's eye color is always temperatures. Never colors. **They were grey. _**Girl, you just got refuted.**_

"I need life, " he cried, sitting down.

"Darcy? " I asked.

**See, she knows who she is.**

_**You mean 'he' right?**_

**No, I mean 'she'. That wasn't a typo.**

_**Okay?**_

" R u ok? "

"GO AWAY YOU DOG! "

So I went away because he was just...**Hey I remember these super long pauses! We always snapped our fingers and wore tuxes while doing this-**

_**Care to dance, Globe?**_

**No thanks. What was that shattering sound?**,...**anybody wanna watch some lectures about why teenagers in this generation are having issues with their spirituality?**...

HAWT!

to be continud

ok so ih hop u like it. leave GUD rreviewos ok?

LOVE 3333333333333333

**BOOM!**

**Globe: What was that?**

**Archer: *turns around***

**Logic: We're back.**

**Common Sense: And by the way, that chapter sucked.**

**Logic: Who wants to know why?**

**Archer: I'd like to.**

**Logic: Here's how the logic of you two work. If a chapter is short, you become terrible commentators. But the longer the chapter, the better.**

**Common Sense: Therefore, the shorter the chapters are, the less amount of fans you have.**

**Archer: We don't have any-**

**Logic: *opens closet to reveal a tied up girl * Au contraire. This is Betty Ytteb. She has a giant crush on ****_you_****, Archer.**

**Globe: Snap. Gotta hate puberty, right?**

**Archer: I-I'm just gonna go...through this door and um, not come back through it.**

**Globe: Whatever, Archer.**

*** LOOKS TO YOU ***

**If you saw this kind of chapter in a story, what kind of review would you leave? Give us an example.**

**UNTIL THE NEXT!**

**~Globe**


End file.
